October 12, 2002

I've been scolded by my blog!

I was actually scolded by my own blog this morning for not writing to it -- there are so many things to learn when you have a young blog, such as how to pay attention to it, how best to plug up the electrical outlets in one's home -- but now my blog has uttered its first words back to me, oh joy. It was a complete sentence, too -- and how it managed to fill out the comments form I'll never know. But now I have $5,321 worth of gum and Flinstones vitamins, not to mention Barney dolls and Darth Maul action figures, charged on my credit card -- so I'm punishing the blog. From now on I will only write...

in Ebonics.

Posted by Brian Stefans at October 12, 2002 09:26 AM
Comments

I'll have you know, Mr. Arras, that this is no punishment to me as I am fluent in Ebonics.

And don't try to pawn off the Barney doll charges on me, either. I'll admit to the gum and vitamins -- you want your Baby Bloggity Blog to have fresh breath and strong bones, don't you? -- and I'll even admit to a couple Darth Maul figures that I thought would make excellent thank-you presents to the other blogs that has been so kind to me since my arrival. But the Barney dolls are not my doing. Keep your twisted perversions to yourself, please.

Posted by: bloggity blog at October 12, 2002 04:11 PM

It wasn't so much the Barney dolls that upset me -- after all you only ordered two -- it was the matching leather zipper t's, underwear with holes in the rear (for the tail), Betty Page boots and other dinosaur s&m parephenalia that you had overnighted from that fetish shop in Belgium that really sent the bill skyrocketing. Please please try to retrieve some of those expenses on eBay if at all possible! Otherwise, I am switching to Korean!

Posted by: Mr. Arras at October 13, 2002 12:12 PM

AGAIN: Barney and accessories were NOT my purchase.

Korean won't punish me either. I'm a multilingual weblog.

Posted by: bloggity blog at October 13, 2002 09:32 PM

Well, now I got in trouble because I accused the only friend I knew who spoke fluent Ebonics as posing as my back-talking blog and she's upset. Ok bloggity blog, what are your demands? Can you return say 50% of the items (unused and unopened) and I'll pay more attention to you, say in the course of a week 1) one sizable article on something related to avant-garde poetries 2) one poetry announcement 3) two or more flippant suggestions about say my life and 4) 3-4 comments like these which are really pretty low in nutrition but will nonetheless keep you satisfied.

Posted by: Mr. Arras at October 14, 2002 11:01 AM

I have returned the vitamins and gum. Please do not neglect my hygiene and nutrition else I will have to return to my own methods.

I did not return Darth Maul since I've already posted the gifts to the recipients and think it'd be rather rude to request them back because my author is stingy.

As a trade, I'll take 5) more of your poetry and 6) public acknowledgement that you do, indeed, care for me.

Posted by: bloggity blog at October 14, 2002 11:17 PM

I care I care!

Oohhhhowooohwoooowhhhh! do I care!

A poem:

blank slate
don't let it rain all day
blank slate
blank slate
don't let it rain all day
oh don't let it wipe my poem away
oohhhhowooohwoooowhhhh!
blank slate!

(after W. C. Williams)

How's that?

My credit card number is 1231 2345 1223 1343 exp. 3/4/02.


Posted by: Mr. Arras at October 15, 2002 10:31 PM

Although I question your sincerity, I'll take the poem.

Thank you.

I feel much better now.

Posted by: bloggity blog at October 15, 2002 11:58 PM

Ok, it wasn't a great poem. I wrote it quite on the fly -- but it is, in fact, based on Williams' "Catholic Bells," but with more than a touch of Captain Beefheart.

For a blog you have very nice teeth, and so please help yourself to more vitamins!

More poems to come, I think I have one I will post later today...

Posted by: Mr. Arras at October 16, 2002 09:53 AM

The recession certainly hasn't hurt eBay. The company already moves more than $5 billion a year in merchandise over its sprawling Web site. Its once motley collectibles and dolls are now just part of a larger universe that includes sales of cars, real-estate and professional services. The San Jose, Calif., firm said recently that its fourth-quarter revenue soared 89% to $419.9 million from the year-earlier quarter. It has already raised its profit and revenue projections for 2003.

For some of the jobless, dabbling in online auctions covers short-term expenses and provides an emotional boost. Aron Danburg of Houston worked for a couple of dot-coms, and the second one, which he believed was more stable, collapsed in two months. The technical writer snagged some contract work, but it ended a few months later. Expecting to move for his next job, he began clearing out his house, selling old college textbooks and compact discs on Amazon's new service, similar to eBay. (Sellers set a firm price on Amazon; it's not an "auction" as at eBay; eBay also has a "fixed-price" sales format that allows buyers to purchase without haggling or waiting.)

Though he landed a job after four months at the Halliburton Co., an oil-field and construction-services firm, the uncertainty was wearing, especially as he watched fellow job searchers struggle for months on end. "I had no idea how long it would take," he says. "It was quite frightening." He found just unloading a single book could add a spark to a gray day of online job-search rejection. "I'd get an e-mail saying something positive," he says. "I'd think, hey, I just made $15 bucks." His sales were enough to cover the rent for a month, allowing him to stretch his savings. He's still at Halliburton, and still sells the occasional book or CD online.

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